perfectly loved.

My boys are all currently off to Oliver's basketball game.  I "had" to stay home so stella could nap.  Sometimes watching those games,  I would just rather  punch myself in the face then stay for the whole thing.  They are so painful to watch!!!!  Poor Oli is so short his face is often bouncing off the other boys sweaty chests.  But we go and we cheer and we support.  Mean while Logan and I are often conspiring together thinking how we can sway him into a more appropriate activity more suitable to his talents.  

I am looking at the laundry piling up the other room and the dishes in the sink and the tower of shoes in the front hall and all I want to do is make cookies with my girls and watch a movie.  I am sure Frozen will be the movie of choice.  We have only seen it 4.6 billion times.  Which is a lot since we only watch TV on Saturdays.  But they love it.  Which is crazy because the story line just offends me every time.  Sometimes I think they couldn't have possibly read the script before hand or they would  have never gone through with it!!! The only reason I allow my girls to watch it is because they sing every song together and it makes me so happy.  

The sky is dreary.

I try not to think about that or the ocean in North Carolina or the eternal blue skies in Idaho.  I also try not to think about all the cookies I am about to consume.  I try to think about ways to be a better mother and a less naggy wife.  I try to think of little ways for my children to serve one another as well as others.  I try to share my gratitude with God throughout the day.  I try to not be sad about my Idaho family so far away.  I try to be present for my little ones and actually hear what they are saying.   I don't want to be perfect, but I do want my children to feel perfectly loved. 

Photo credit.  The Amazing Jenny Gildea. 

The perfect canvas.

So I have the coolest new product!!!!! I think I speak for many a client when I say that it can be HARD to pick just one image for your wall.  Especially when there are so many wonderful images!  Below is a canvas that is just awesome!!!!!!  I love it because you can pick 16 images to display on your wall instead of just one.  You can have the family picture, the feet picture, the screaming picture, the picture of them playing, the picture of them hugging- all of them.
I adore this canvas so much I have two of them in my home.  Below you can see what they look like on my walls.  So what now you ask?  Pick your 16 images and lets get it ordered!!!

Today - yesterday - sometimes

Today I am happy.  The clouds are out but so is the sun.  I can handle that.  

Today my children are growing a million miles a minute! This is harder to accept.

Last year at this time we were thrust into this new old house full of wallpaper and fleas.  

Now the wallpaper is gone and thank God so are the fleas (we don't even have pets)!!

This moments Stella is on my lap singing.  We just had tea and yogurt for breakfast in the kitchen nook where the sun shines brightest, overlooking the chicken coop. 

These days I have been enjoying learning the ukulele, Mr. Logan's gluten free blueberry muffins, warm (who am I kidding scolding hot)  loooooong showers and cuddling before nap time with my Stella.  Recently my boys have enjoyed monopoly.  Boy that can be a long game I tell you!

Last week Logan and I went on a weekend get away to Yellow Springs.  A well deserved vacation I might add.  Those three days alone together were just scrumptious.  The dancing, the cuddling, the laughing, the food!!!!!! I and love and him.  

Sometimes things get hard here on the home front- crazy, busy, tiring.  Sometimes I am pulled so many directions I feel that I might explode.  And honestly sometimes I do.  Sometimes I am making dinner while Stella lays at my feet crying for me to hold her.  While in the other room the two boys are wrestling on the couch.  Which is all well and fine until someone gets hurt. And someone always does.  And then there's Tulie who is siting on the counter next to me trying to get her spelling done and wanting me to check every word after it is written for accuracy.   The phone rings and the potatoes are boiling over.   We are going to be late for piano and Oli hasn't even practiced for the day. From 4-9 this is our life.  And I am SO grateful it is mine.  Because at night when I put them to bed, they give me kisses and hugs and beg me to stay with them forever.  And I like that.  I even don't mind when I leave them screaming how much they hate me that day.  Sometimes I just whisper, right back at you! 

Photo credit: Jenny Gildea

Baby Stella dance party

I think about her going off to school, growing up, wearing makeup, driving.  Holy shit.  She is a girl with attitude.  So grateful that I get to be a Mother.  Her Mother.  It is amazing how wonderful these little people are.  Each one so different, so awesome.  Did I mention so much fun.  So much laughing and dancing and potty talk.  So many late nights and tired days.  So many hard moments and frustrating situations.  But mostly just my little best friends.  I and Love and You.

Giving all of Me

I was cleaning out some old files when I found this picture of me and baby Stella from a few years ago and I just had to share it.  WOWOWOWOW is time going so fast.  Stella is now potty trained, can get herself dressed, rides a bike and even swears at the appropriate time.  I blame Logan for that.
I think of my time as a mother and I am grateful.  I have not always enjoyed being a mother.  In fact I hated it.  I loved my children but I didn't feel fulfilled in what I was doing with my life and I felt stuck.
The change to loving motherhood came gradually for me.  It came first with the desire to change my heart.  For me it was partially a change of my attitude.  And it isn't just like you can just snap your fingers and become happy.  I had to change a few things.  First off I prayed for help.  Secondly I tried to show more love towards my children. Especially during those times I thought they "didn't deserve it".   And third, I started working a few hours outside of the home each week.  This allowed me time to be creative, time for me to be Mindy and time to miss my little ones.
I look at my children and I am so grateful God has given them to me.  Grateful that he has entrusted them into my arms to love them and teach them and to guide them.  I am scared of failing them, that I won't be enough.  But I also know that I love them with all my heart and I give them everything that I have and am.  And well you know what, there aint much more for me to give.  I know I will look back and have some regrets but I know I won't regret giving them all of me.  And that makes me happy.  

A family in the forest

 I know this post is ridiculously long but we had such an amazing weekend I had to share!! Yellow Springs Ohio is our absolute favorite place to visit.  The hiking is just perfect for our little family.  We   wake up after a long night of fires covered in marshmallow and dirt and enjoy the morning at the coffee house having hot chocolate and eating muffins.  Gluten free mind you.  And then we have an early morning family hike.  On the hike we sing lovely songs.  Actually I sing all alone and the kids fight over who gets to be in the front.  But I like the trees, the shade, the spirit I feel when  I am outside breathing hard in the dirt.  We then go into the little town again for BBQ from the food truck which is amazing and then play at the park while eating ice-cream.  Another hike is had and then we eat dinner over the fire while the fireflies flutter and the kids yell and scream.  We go to bed absolutely exhausted to the sound of the crickets and the view of the glistening stars.  Awakening to the sound of the rooster laying next to me telling me how "hungy" she is.  And the day starts again.  And I love it!! Can't wait to go back to our little Yellow Springs.