Giving all of Me

I was cleaning out some old files when I found this picture of me and baby Stella from a few years ago and I just had to share it.  WOWOWOWOW is time going so fast.  Stella is now potty trained, can get herself dressed, rides a bike and even swears at the appropriate time.  I blame Logan for that.
I think of my time as a mother and I am grateful.  I have not always enjoyed being a mother.  In fact I hated it.  I loved my children but I didn't feel fulfilled in what I was doing with my life and I felt stuck.
The change to loving motherhood came gradually for me.  It came first with the desire to change my heart.  For me it was partially a change of my attitude.  And it isn't just like you can just snap your fingers and become happy.  I had to change a few things.  First off I prayed for help.  Secondly I tried to show more love towards my children. Especially during those times I thought they "didn't deserve it".   And third, I started working a few hours outside of the home each week.  This allowed me time to be creative, time for me to be Mindy and time to miss my little ones.
I look at my children and I am so grateful God has given them to me.  Grateful that he has entrusted them into my arms to love them and teach them and to guide them.  I am scared of failing them, that I won't be enough.  But I also know that I love them with all my heart and I give them everything that I have and am.  And well you know what, there aint much more for me to give.  I know I will look back and have some regrets but I know I won't regret giving them all of me.  And that makes me happy.